It's been almost three years since the planting...
I stopped writing because it got pretty rough and I was discouraged. But hey, I'm still here. Pretty sure I just got a nice lesson in perseverance. I hope I can use this blog to revisit the journey and learn even more from reflection. Since we're still building the church here, I'll get to share the new adventures too.
Where to begin?
Things learned...
1) Pray
Heb 5:7-8
During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered
After the first 6 months or so of the planting, I started to pray a lot. I could see no "light" at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. I prayed the psalms out loud constantly. I prayed about the woes in my heart. I cried. I wrestled with stressful feelings and prayed about them. I felt, maybe for the first time, that all I had was prayer. I learned a lot from this.
Now a relatively short time later, I have stopped praying so much. Mistake. I guess I may need to learn this over and over. I'm so fickle. Yet I find that I'm not so different than my spiritual ancestors. I find rebels and fools all over the bible. I hope I'm more like the Peters and Nehemiah's in having a repentant prayer life.
I find myself leading this small family of God now. I want to lead. I feel called to do it. It has turned me upside down and inside out though. All that I thought and knew went out the door. I got shaken up and wrung out. God did some explaining, disciplining, and reshaping of me. It hurt. It still does. Somehow it seems just right. God knows what he's doing. I sure don't. Sometimes I think I do. He then re-explains it to me in some way.
Overall I am in awe of what God has done. There are new faces in his kingdom because of what he has done. Many have grown so much because of what he has done. I am a different man because of what he has done.
Pray.
Pray for us too please.
Ian
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Wow
Wow.
Guess why I haven't posted?...
It's been pretty tough the past couple months. We've been here almost a year now and things have been completely different than I would have ever planned. In the past couple of weeks we as a church have hit a place where we are all being called to get humble. I am amazed at how much I need to grow in the area of communication and reconciliation.
Personally I have had quite an eye opening experience with my pride. It is overshadowing, infusing, and imposing. Not only am I seeing it now more clearly, I am realizing what a wrestling match it is (and will be) to change. It's amazing to think I've made it so far as a disciple of Jesus and yet have such glaring sin hiding out in my heart.
I see the pride coming out in many ways. One huge area is in my relationships with leaders in the church. I am understanding how critical and prideful I have been with many people. It does not feel good to realize what I've been doing and am still struggling with in this area. The awesome side of this is that I am getting the chance to see my sin and go to God for change. Pride is interesting in that it works against me in this way; that I see change needs to happen, but I turn to myself (pride) to change it. Then ultimately the change does not last.
Another huge area where pride is running rampant at times is my family. I lack consideration, I wrap myself in myself, I fight for me... Then I wonder why my wife and kids are hurting, troubled, and in need. It's me. I have such an impact on them and yet skirt my God appointed role. Not only that, but it has an overflow effect on the church. As a man who should be maturing I should manage my house well so that I will have a clear eye for helping my brothers and sisters (family of God). The weight is too heavy sometimes - too heavy for a prideful man...
John 15:15-17
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.
Fruit that will last...
How many times have I made efforts and changes just to see them evaporate; In my heart, in my marriage, with my sin. It does not last because it is not powered by Jesus.
So hard. Here on this mission team I almost feel like I'm starting over in some ways. Like a reboot. I am thinking this is perhaps very common for a mission team setting. I can relate to why Mark may have abandoned Paul while on the mission trip with him. At the same time I can relate to how Paul, Peter, Barnabas, Apollos... grew stronger with the challenges of mission work.
I'm not at all sure of where I am headed in the near future. I do see that I can hang my hat on Jesus, who is the author of life. As much as I want to know, control, and get my way - I am being reminded:
Philippians 4:5-7
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I need help to be gentle. I need to dwell on prayer and thanksgiving. I want that peace. My prideful heart needs a guard. Help me Jesus!
Amen.
Guess why I haven't posted?...
It's been pretty tough the past couple months. We've been here almost a year now and things have been completely different than I would have ever planned. In the past couple of weeks we as a church have hit a place where we are all being called to get humble. I am amazed at how much I need to grow in the area of communication and reconciliation.
Personally I have had quite an eye opening experience with my pride. It is overshadowing, infusing, and imposing. Not only am I seeing it now more clearly, I am realizing what a wrestling match it is (and will be) to change. It's amazing to think I've made it so far as a disciple of Jesus and yet have such glaring sin hiding out in my heart.
I see the pride coming out in many ways. One huge area is in my relationships with leaders in the church. I am understanding how critical and prideful I have been with many people. It does not feel good to realize what I've been doing and am still struggling with in this area. The awesome side of this is that I am getting the chance to see my sin and go to God for change. Pride is interesting in that it works against me in this way; that I see change needs to happen, but I turn to myself (pride) to change it. Then ultimately the change does not last.
Another huge area where pride is running rampant at times is my family. I lack consideration, I wrap myself in myself, I fight for me... Then I wonder why my wife and kids are hurting, troubled, and in need. It's me. I have such an impact on them and yet skirt my God appointed role. Not only that, but it has an overflow effect on the church. As a man who should be maturing I should manage my house well so that I will have a clear eye for helping my brothers and sisters (family of God). The weight is too heavy sometimes - too heavy for a prideful man...
John 15:15-17
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.
Fruit that will last...
How many times have I made efforts and changes just to see them evaporate; In my heart, in my marriage, with my sin. It does not last because it is not powered by Jesus.
So hard. Here on this mission team I almost feel like I'm starting over in some ways. Like a reboot. I am thinking this is perhaps very common for a mission team setting. I can relate to why Mark may have abandoned Paul while on the mission trip with him. At the same time I can relate to how Paul, Peter, Barnabas, Apollos... grew stronger with the challenges of mission work.
I'm not at all sure of where I am headed in the near future. I do see that I can hang my hat on Jesus, who is the author of life. As much as I want to know, control, and get my way - I am being reminded:
Philippians 4:5-7
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I need help to be gentle. I need to dwell on prayer and thanksgiving. I want that peace. My prideful heart needs a guard. Help me Jesus!
Amen.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Today
Not feeling much like writing lately, and especially today.
I have been tempted to loose faith lately, and collectively as a church I think we all have. It is interesting what God is doing with this.
Heb 3:12-15
See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end. As has just been said:
I have been tempted to loose faith lately, and collectively as a church I think we all have. It is interesting what God is doing with this.
Heb 3:12-15
See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end. As has just been said:
“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion.”
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion.”
This scripture has been on many of our hearts through the Spirit's prompting. I've been wrestling with this myself and I know others are wrestling with it too. We have wanted so much to come here, preach the word, and see many turn to Jesus. While this may be taking place, it has been our own hearts that are being convicted and changed even more.
Today while praying I had a moment of connection with Jesus that was more pure and original than I have had in a long time. I am amazed at how far my heart has drifted and not realized it. It is sobering, yet at the same time I find that only a few hours later my heart is hardening again.
"God this is not pleasant, that's enough, I'm done."
Good thing God knows best.
God will not let up... He is relentlessly pursuing me and the brothers and sisters around me. Even though I don't see it enough, Jesus is still the friend he was at first; always there when I finally turn to him. He was there before, and then when I could finally see him, as well as for all eternity.
I hope that we not only bask in this amazing love and grace, but learn to share it like only Jesus can.
John 15:14-16
You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.
Amen.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Life goes on...
Life continues on around us and our own lives are pretty unpredictable...
Our family has been through a lot of sickness this winter. We have had a bunch of family come to visit. We've been trying to have a baby and/or adopt a child. There is school, and work, and church events. There are friendships to maintain, and new ones to foster. I feel like most of the things I plan, and want, end up fruitless much of the time.
Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Being a disciple of Jesus, we really have just a couple things to stick to. The rest come after that.
Luke 10:26-28
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
As disciples, we don't follow the law (that would not work). Yet, the principle still applies here.
When we all arrived here in the Tri-Cities area, we had all sorts of thoughts and plans. We would proclaim Jesus, make disciples, and love each other. Simple desires (and good ones!). We've come to the six month mark of this journey. We recently had another promising young man turn away from Jesus after much study and investment in his life. It is always discouraging to see others say no to the road we ask them to travel with us.
Matthew 19:25-26
When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
It has never been easy, or pleasant for me to here "no" over and over again in response to the gospel. It is our hope that keeps us going... We press on because of our own assurance in Christ and the resurrection. And because of this there is always going to be hope for the next person we share this life with.
The men of the church here are having an event this Saturday to bring a little of God's kingdom into the men we are befriending. Please pray that the seeds planted and watered at this time will grow by God's power.
Amen.
Our family has been through a lot of sickness this winter. We have had a bunch of family come to visit. We've been trying to have a baby and/or adopt a child. There is school, and work, and church events. There are friendships to maintain, and new ones to foster. I feel like most of the things I plan, and want, end up fruitless much of the time.
Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Being a disciple of Jesus, we really have just a couple things to stick to. The rest come after that.
Luke 10:26-28
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
As disciples, we don't follow the law (that would not work). Yet, the principle still applies here.
When we all arrived here in the Tri-Cities area, we had all sorts of thoughts and plans. We would proclaim Jesus, make disciples, and love each other. Simple desires (and good ones!). We've come to the six month mark of this journey. We recently had another promising young man turn away from Jesus after much study and investment in his life. It is always discouraging to see others say no to the road we ask them to travel with us.
Matthew 19:25-26
When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
It has never been easy, or pleasant for me to here "no" over and over again in response to the gospel. It is our hope that keeps us going... We press on because of our own assurance in Christ and the resurrection. And because of this there is always going to be hope for the next person we share this life with.
The men of the church here are having an event this Saturday to bring a little of God's kingdom into the men we are befriending. Please pray that the seeds planted and watered at this time will grow by God's power.
Amen.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Repent!
So much to say...
The Edmunds family has been sick several times in the past month. Norovirus, flu, colds, and Francine's cold/wet weather issues. Guess who was not sick? Me. I had the pleasure of taking care of everyone. From a spiritual perspective, this was a great opportunity. I had a hard time seeing it that way most of the time.
Within a couple weeks of the sickness hitting us, I grew bitter and retracted into a funky cave of depression. I then went through (and still not done) an amazing time of conviction and eye opening from the Lord.
Matt 5:3
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
I got to the point where my spirit finally broke. The weight that God needed to apply was pretty heavy. I take this to mean that I needed a lot to break through my sinful heart. The pride that I had been wrapping myself up in as my strength was shown to be what it really was - sin! I crashed down from my fantasy land where I was doing good. I felt terrible.
Matt 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
At this point I really didn't know what to do. I do think, and feel, that God told me to just wait. "You just sit there in your mud for a while." Normally I wrap my pride all around me, stand back up, and march on with life. This time was different though. I think I finally saw that what I had been doing was faithless and self-willed. Not God at all!
Psalm 51:17
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
It has been several weeks since this began. I don't even know if I have really "learned" yet, but I am grateful that God loved me by showing me this part of my heart. I think I am understanding forgiveness so much more, and because of that I can live in grace more as well!
The Edmunds family has been sick several times in the past month. Norovirus, flu, colds, and Francine's cold/wet weather issues. Guess who was not sick? Me. I had the pleasure of taking care of everyone. From a spiritual perspective, this was a great opportunity. I had a hard time seeing it that way most of the time.
Within a couple weeks of the sickness hitting us, I grew bitter and retracted into a funky cave of depression. I then went through (and still not done) an amazing time of conviction and eye opening from the Lord.
Matt 5:3
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
I got to the point where my spirit finally broke. The weight that God needed to apply was pretty heavy. I take this to mean that I needed a lot to break through my sinful heart. The pride that I had been wrapping myself up in as my strength was shown to be what it really was - sin! I crashed down from my fantasy land where I was doing good. I felt terrible.
Matt 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
At this point I really didn't know what to do. I do think, and feel, that God told me to just wait. "You just sit there in your mud for a while." Normally I wrap my pride all around me, stand back up, and march on with life. This time was different though. I think I finally saw that what I had been doing was faithless and self-willed. Not God at all!
Psalm 51:17
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
It has been several weeks since this began. I don't even know if I have really "learned" yet, but I am grateful that God loved me by showing me this part of my heart. I think I am understanding forgiveness so much more, and because of that I can live in grace more as well!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Building and Faith in Action
God is working as we settle in to 2013. I can see him work in many ways, and at the same time I am unsure of what he is doing in everything else...
The new year always takes me to a reflective place. This causes quite a bit of anxiety for me. I dredge up stuff in my heart that is buried, I look ahead and get overwhelmed, and I get frozen in where I am. Then I start moving forward with prayer and surrender.
It is good to realize where I have been establishing my own strength and not God's. The hard part is tearing those areas down and letting God rebuild.
Psalm 127:1
Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
I always struggle with the fact that I have been, or maybe in the process, of building in vain. Ughhhh! I hate wasting time. Then if I can get to this point I have to address and new challenge; Pride. Even if I know the good I ought to do, I need to get my pride out of the way to change.
The church here is continuing to grow in unity and Spirit. We had a great time helping build a couple of homes for Habitat For Humanity. The Spokane church came down and joined us for this. We met some great people, some of which were very responsive to the Gospel.
We are pursuing growth in many ways together. The elements of Faith, Prayer, and Family are the focus the past few weeks. Tonight we will have some dinner and pray together to put our faith into action. It will be an encouraging time.
The new year always takes me to a reflective place. This causes quite a bit of anxiety for me. I dredge up stuff in my heart that is buried, I look ahead and get overwhelmed, and I get frozen in where I am. Then I start moving forward with prayer and surrender.
It is good to realize where I have been establishing my own strength and not God's. The hard part is tearing those areas down and letting God rebuild.
Psalm 127:1
Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
I always struggle with the fact that I have been, or maybe in the process, of building in vain. Ughhhh! I hate wasting time. Then if I can get to this point I have to address and new challenge; Pride. Even if I know the good I ought to do, I need to get my pride out of the way to change.
The church here is continuing to grow in unity and Spirit. We had a great time helping build a couple of homes for Habitat For Humanity. The Spokane church came down and joined us for this. We met some great people, some of which were very responsive to the Gospel.
We are pursuing growth in many ways together. The elements of Faith, Prayer, and Family are the focus the past few weeks. Tonight we will have some dinner and pray together to put our faith into action. It will be an encouraging time.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
New Year
Made it through the holidays.
I think it's ironic that I consider the holidays a major challenge to my faith and deeds in Christ. Even though the holiday is dedicated to Christ, I tend to resemble Christ less during this time. You feel me?
I did better this Christmas than in past years. We had family here for a week and it was a miracle that I exhibited love much of the time. Then there was the last couple of days, where things fell apart for me. The less than loving side emerged. Just like any other time; I turn around (repent) and learn from it. There has been growth, but I must continue (persevere).
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
We have a new year ahead of us. As a church, we will be wrestling with the foundation we are laying, our pursuit of God's righteousness, and paying attention to what fruit we are bearing. I am still working on what to pray about, how to use my time and energy, and what does God have in store for the days ahead.
I am trying to assess my own life in Christ; growth in His character while actively implementing the Gospel message to the good of the Kingdom.
It is a real challenge to maintain a life of Godliness not only personally, but corporately as well. Unity in faith is still something we are grasping at. I think until we finally take hold of that unity, we will struggle to see numeric and spiritual growth as a body. I don't have an answer to this sense I have, but I pray to have our eyes opened and hearts willing to become what God has in store.
Eph 4:11-16
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Amen.
I think it's ironic that I consider the holidays a major challenge to my faith and deeds in Christ. Even though the holiday is dedicated to Christ, I tend to resemble Christ less during this time. You feel me?
I did better this Christmas than in past years. We had family here for a week and it was a miracle that I exhibited love much of the time. Then there was the last couple of days, where things fell apart for me. The less than loving side emerged. Just like any other time; I turn around (repent) and learn from it. There has been growth, but I must continue (persevere).
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
We have a new year ahead of us. As a church, we will be wrestling with the foundation we are laying, our pursuit of God's righteousness, and paying attention to what fruit we are bearing. I am still working on what to pray about, how to use my time and energy, and what does God have in store for the days ahead.
I am trying to assess my own life in Christ; growth in His character while actively implementing the Gospel message to the good of the Kingdom.
It is a real challenge to maintain a life of Godliness not only personally, but corporately as well. Unity in faith is still something we are grasping at. I think until we finally take hold of that unity, we will struggle to see numeric and spiritual growth as a body. I don't have an answer to this sense I have, but I pray to have our eyes opened and hearts willing to become what God has in store.
Eph 4:11-16
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Amen.
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